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The Last Few Months

Hey there gang of readers.

My mind has been filled with new and different arrays of thought.  Deep I know, but none the less true.  The house as been turned around and I have been trying to adapt to the change.  Probably not as well or as fast as some around here would like.  Joe went to Doc. L about 2  1/2 months ago and the Doc decided to put him on some new medication for his tremors with the possible Parkinson and not the MS.  He also placed him off work until we can see how his body adapts to the new meds.  Last month we went back for a check up.  There was no change that any of us could see.  So Dr. L decided to double the dose.  We will be heading back there soon.  I still see no change at all in the tremors.  What I have been able to see is all the aches and pains, the fatigue and over all not feeling well that Joe has been going through.  To think of all the time that he had been on the road going through all of this by himself makes me so sad.  For him to not having the opportunity to just go lay down until things pass.  For him having the stress of having to push himself to get the job done.  Well, I could go on and on, but I won’t.  I will say that I have seen a great uplifting of the kid’s spirits since Joe has been home.  They love their daddio so.  We will be getting ready for the end of the school year and the homecoming of Joey from ORU.  He didn’t get to come home for spring break and I miss him so much!  I have caught myself many times over the past year getting ready to call out his name only to remember that he isn’t here.  I will also be watching 3 out of the 7 kids that my sister has, at the end of May so that they can move.  While the others are big enough to help the 4 yr.old and the twin 2 yr.olds will only get in the way.  So I am the blessed one who gets to spoil them while the new house gets ready.  I can’t wait!  I love her kids so much.  I feel so proud to get to call myself their Aunt.  They are all such a joy and delight. So for now I keep to my Bible study and learning how to run the house with Joe home.   I will keep my eyes on the look out for what lies ahead.  And with a little guidance I just might get to see it before it comes and smacks me in the face. Life changes all the time all around you.  Life needs to get smacked a few times before it tries to smack me.

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From Mother To Mom

The other day while I was looking around the net, there was a comment left on a site asking for advice for a mom who wanted to go off and do what she wanted to do in life.  This was her first child and she claims that she knows the importance on staying at home with her child but she wanted “me” time and was really asking for permission to go to work and do what she wanted to do.  She was feeling guilty and wanted the ok from someone so that she could justify it to herself. All I could do was just sit there stunned at the thought of her putting her child on the back burner and placing herself of higher priority.

Unfortunately, this happens all the time.  Woman thinks she wants a husband, woman gets her husband.  Woman thinks she wants a baby or two, woman gets a baby or two.  Woman thinks she wants a job, woman gets a job.  Woman doesn’t understand that “her time” is gone from the moment she said the ” I do’s”.  She has then committed to sharing her life with her husband.  She has then committed to sharing her life with her baby.  If the woman had taken the time to find out what she really wanted in her life in the first place then these three or more lives wouldn’t have to live without her.

When we (men and women) don’t find what makes us happy on our own first, then they will never  be happy, or have the ability to make others happy.  People are too willing to rush through life trying this trying that to find their inner happiness.  They are just grabbing at every idea that comes to them instead of really looking for themselves.  I know women who work outside of the house.  They trust other people, people that they really don’t know, to take care of their children.  I thought that was called parenting, now a days it’s called daycare, childcare, babysitters, nannies, or live-ins.  All the while the true parents tell themselves that if they didn’t work then they couldn’t live.  What a load of CRAP.  We live and have lived on one income for over 16 years.  Is it tough; yes.  I’d be a liar if I said that life has been a bed of roses.  We’ve had a lot of up’s and down’s financially over the years.  But through out it all we have had to trust on only God to see us get back up.  Our kids do not get everything that they think that they should have.  Joe and I do not get everything that we think we should or want to have.  But when we look around at what we do have we are so grateful.  We all have learned to appreciate these things and each other more and more.  When I was younger and I had our first child, I just kept saying that at least I became a mother.  Now that I am a little older, I can say, at least I became a mom.  There is a difference.  I wonder what I will be able to say in the years to come.  I pray that my commitment to this role in my life only becomes stronger and stronger.

Looking Forward and Looking Back

Well we had a very nice Christmas.  Joey was home from his break and was blessed to be able to go back to work at Frisch’s (For those who don’t have those, it is simply a sit down restaurant with a drive thru.  Their food is good and wholesome.)  Joe was also home for Christmas, but I had to drive him back to his truck that night.  I just wish that he had felt better than he did.  After about a couple of hours of being up, he started feeling bad.  Fatigue and hollowness in his legs starting taking over.  I was glad that he was at least home so that he could go to bed and get some much deserved rest.  This is just another day that his MS decided to show up again.  Everyone got surprises (as in the presents that they got.) myself included.  We celebrated my daughters 16th. Birthday and my niece’s 11th plus another niece’s 4th.

Baby Girl's Sweet 16

Baby Girl’s Sweet 16

My Sweetheart's 11th. Birthday

My Sweetheart’s 11th. Birthday

Miss B's 4th. BirthdayMiss B’s 4th. Birthday

We were also able to go to my in-laws, for a Christmas gathering, that live an hour away.  My mother-in-law can make some of the best little deserts you’ve ever tasted.  And of course she made a set of everything for each of us.  So there went on another set of hips and thighs.  But they are so worth it.  And we have had the snow.  With the first round of it, the kids were jumping out of the skin in anticipation to play in it.  They didn’t care that the weatherman was calling it a blizzard.  I wouldn’t have called it that myself.

Dec 27 2011_2582Dec 27 2011_2585I don’t think we even got 6”.  However, I do understand that with our snow there was also several thunderstorms coming up from the south as well.  We have had a few days of snow since then also.  Still not much but enough to have to be shoveled off the streets and such.  Oh, we have also had my three nieces over here.  I so love these girls.  We have been having fun shopping ,dancing with the x-box, have tickle attacks, taking and picking up Joey from work, and good old talking about everything under the sun.  (Which means anything that they are willing to talk about, because they aren’t much into talking?)

So Now I am getting ready for the new year and all the kids getting ready to go back to school.  That has a lot of mixed emotions with it.  Because I love having the kids’ home every day, but I also know that, they miss their friends from school.  Of course, I will have to get back to teaching Wil and Sam again.  Switching routines again will be trying for Sam.  He doesn’t like change of any kind.  He has a very hard time accepting it.  Even if it been talked about for days to a week before, it happens.  So slowly, we add something every day until the day of, then we will be doing it without such a shock to his system.  I will go back to missing Joey in Tulsa. I will be happy that he is still where he is supposed to be.  I will be happy that he is turning into a fine young man.  I can see so many changes in him already.  I am so grateful that they are good changes.  I am sad and happy at the same time that I am watching my daughter Sierra, grow into a young woman.  I laugh at those around us who still talk to her as if she is still a little girl.  For they are missing out on her insight.  I am happy that Wil is stepping into the oldest boy of the house role.  Although he is miss stepping some things,  he is watching out for everything.  Wisdom is coming from him.  He keeps to himself and tries to be a peacemaker.  I will look on to the following year with my own anticipation at to what God has in store for each of us.  Because each day with God, is better than the last.  We should look forward to a whole year with excitement!

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